Been a great week and a half though. Babybear got me the sweetest Valentine's gift - he's so damn cute. And training up to be a good man. He gets me flowers, does sweet things for me, and like to give me presents (whether handmade or store bought). He puts his own thought into it, no one says "why don't you get this for so and so", he tells you what he is getting for so and so, and he knows why he's doing it. Very good at personalizing stuff. He'll make someone a good husband one day.

Hubby was sweet too - I got me some flowers, witha card that read:
"To a dear Mommy and Wife:
We are so lucky to have you in our lives everyday. All of our love, Happy Valentine's Day,
Babybear and Hubby"

Makes me feel bad for all the times I bitch about Hubby.

And speaking of which, counselling in going very well. In fact, after three sessions, our therapist feels that Hubby is actually ADHD. He has given us a lot of literature on the subject, and it seems a *very* acurate assessment. As a result, Hubby has a number of self esteem/self worth issues - he is constantly beating himself up for doing stupid things, and doesn't understand why he does the things he tends to do. On the other hand, I feel like I am parenting a thrid child, because I forever have to hold his hand to get anything accomplished. It would seem if we work to find strategies to resolve the ADHD items, his self esteem will dramatically improve and we can get out of the yucky place we're in. Interesting stuffs.

Had an ultrasound on Monday, and got to see Possum. Important stuff first: 10 fingers, 10 toes, measurements were great, my dates are right on - the suppose July 16 will be the day, as opposed to July 18, but whatever. Weights just shy of 10oz, and is a little over 5.5 inches long. Spine looks good, heart works, etc. The not so important: No gratuitous sex *pout*. Modest little baby. Would not let us get the tiniest little glimpse. Babybear spread his legs for ever unltrasound I had with him, loved to show his little manhood off. This one - didn't want to take it's thumb out of it's mouth, and does NOT like to be poked at. Squirmy little one - all over the place - the tech had such a hard time getting any of her measurements because baby would not hold still. And if she had the wand in the same place for too long, baby would start kicking away at it. It was kinda funny. But it's weird not to know. With Babybear, I *knew* he was a boy from the start. Just knew. And with every ultrasound, he assured me I was right. I have no idea what this one is. Not a clue, not an inkling. I'd love a girl (just to have one of each), and I'd be pleased as pie with another boy (mother-daughter dynamic terrifies me...I got the mother-son thing down good), but I just wannt *know*. And I want to know now, damn it. I want to buy baby some stuff, and I'd like to know if it should be boyish, or girlish. Not for gender sterotyping - I am very against that - but simply because I think I might cry if someone looked at my little girl in blue and said "Awwww, he's so cute", or looked at my boy in his pink frillies and said "Awwww, she's adorable". I am pretty sure that in my hyper emotional state I would take such an innocent comment as a person affront. So we'll just avoid that. And I hate green and yellow - so that won't work. And I have a child already, so I know to stay away from the white.

I have also re-enrolled myself in University. I am half way finished my bachelor's degree, and I have decided now is the time to get it finished. I ahve started with two course, which begin in April. I desperately want a career change, and the only way I am going to do what I want, making decent money, is to get that piece of paper. Very exciting, very daunting.

Now I think I'll go to try and catch up everyone else's business!

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