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Dog Fart and Snail Juice = YUM
2008-06-23, 10:58 p.m.

Earl MUST stop farting. Seriously. There is no thing worse then dog fart. Especially my dog's farts.

I bet if he stopped jumping on my table and gorging himself on every scrap of people food he can find, that maybe, just maybe, he might not have such bad dog farts. Nor would he teeter so perilously on the edge of life and very certain death.

Each time he eats a chocolate cake, or a box of chocolates, or chocolate chip cookies, I wait the supposed cardiac arrest that will surely follow. He ambles slowly towards me, with the �Please don�t be so mad at me Mom, I couldn�t help myself, it�s canine crack!!� eyes, places his paws on my knee, reaches his nose to my cheek and�


Yeah. He burped. Right in my face. A pig with fur, man. That�s all he is.

Boog must stop climbing stairs. Yes, I know they are the rugrat version of Mount Everest, I get that. And I applaud his determination to do something he has been told not to do. Persistence is invaluable. But dammit, Mom says NO! And when I get mad or frustrated, instead of allowing myself to spew forth a number of profanities, I kinda growl. Like, �Grrrrrr�. Well, guess what Boog�s second word is?? GRRRRRRRRR!

And in case you wondered, Boog�s first word�.yeah. It was �Earl�. Boog thinks that smelly dog is pretty cool. And Ealr learned quickly that Boog is his meal ticket.

BabyBear made me snail juice today. You know, the kind of juice made up of about oh, twenty some odd snails crushed up. I have pictures of the snails the wrangled. I didn�t know what they were for at the time. I�ll post them as soon as my battery recharges. And yes, we talked about the cruelty involved in the making snail juice. Then I was asked �Well, how come we can kill cows and chickens to eat, and not snails. The snails eat your flowers. The cows don�t.� Good point. And on we went to discuss the word �humane�.

My head hurts. I think I had too much snail juice. Or maybe I�m just high off doggie methane. I�m gonna go sleep it off!

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