I forgot. I really forgot. When I was having Babybear, I would listen to women tell me that once you have your little one, you forget the bulk of the unpleasantries that come when you�re expecting. I scoffed at this - how on earth can you forget feeling so tired? So sick? So hyper-emotional? All the bathroom trips? The pimples? The swelling? And the big "Owie" that comes at the end????

I forgot. I forgot how damn sick I could be. How very often I (a rather non-religious person) could be found praying to my porcelain goddess. Ugh. I am so tired and so sick and sick of being sick and tired.

Bright side � 8 weeks down. Only another 4 or 5 to go, and it will stop. And I can go back to enjoying my dinner.

Sadly, my dear hubby isn�t doing so well. He is trying to help, I know he is, but he just makes a bigger mess of everything. He says sleep in, get some rest, I�ll get Babybear up and out � and he can�t. Things get so messed up, everyone is freaking out and I have to stumbled down the stairs and sort everyone out. The one day I did stay in bed, he sent Babybear to school with a peanut snack (life threatening allergies at our school � hubby knows this, made his comments about how unjust the world is that our son cannot take a pb&j sandwich for lunch � I say put yourself in the position of the parent who has to rely on parents like us to help keep their child safe�), no hat, no mitts and no snow pants. It happened to be -4 Celsius with snow squalls�

He offers to clean up for me, and he then piles EVERYTHING into a corner of the living room. Sorry, but piling crap in a different corner isn�t cleaning up. He says he�ll clean up in the kitchen (because the food is making me gag), and he washes the dishes � but leaves them in the strainer, leave hunks of food to rot (and smell) in the sink, and leaves food crusted all over the counter. So I have to clean up after him � then he has a fit because I �trivialize� everything he does. It�s never good enough. Yeah�.rotting food isn�t clean. It�s not. It�s not acceptable for me to leave the house like that�why is it okay for him to do it?

I hate feeling this moody and emotional. I hate needing help, and getting it half-assed. I hate being so bitchy, but I am not going to give some congrats for doing a half assed job. That just encourages him to keep doing the same. And damn it, why should I? No one thanks me for cleaning the toilet, or doing the dishes, or doing the laundry, or cleaning the living room. I do not subscribe to that �woman�s work� bullshit. If I were home all day, okay, fine. It would be my job to ensure these things are done. But it just so happens that I am the breadwinner in our family. I make almost twice what my hubby makes, and I sometimes work nearly 20 hours a week more then he does. He works part time at a radio station (a job which he loves and I support wholeheartedly), approx. 24 hours per week (4 days, most shifts are 6 hours long). Always evenings, earliest shift starts at 7pm, goes to 1am. He has also picked up some Monday night football work, but that was just October to December � and ends in another week. To supplement his very low income, he took on a part time job at a local college, (which is just temporary, and only because we fought and fought over it because we had wedding to pay for, house to try and buy, family to start � I even paid for half my own damn wedding ring) which has him working 9am � 1pm, Monday � Friday. His longest work day is 10 hours. I work 10 hours a day, every day. Plus I work Saturdays, and Sundays too. And I can�t get some help? Just one day, please help me clean the kitchen � properly? Or please help me clean the bathroom (I finally did it myself, cause he didn�t). I am so frustrated!!!!

GRRRRRRRRR.

Okay. Rant is over. I know that it�s pointless, and it really means nothing, but it�s just good to get it off my chest. I am getting worried � he�s not helping me now, when it�s not that much out of his way � what is going to happen when baby comes? I feel like I�m going to be stuck doing this myself � again.

*sigh* I can�t wait until the �glowing� part comes�

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