Just a quick update. I have been very, very bad at regualrily updating my diary as of late. But I do have a terrific excuse. I have begun to date the man I am sure that I am fated to be with.

I'll refer to him as RadioBoy, cause that's what he does. He's a Technical Director for a sports radio station ( soon to be moving into producing).

As for my assertion that he and I are fated for one another, well. We first met 12 years ago in high school. We are both HUGE U2 fans, which is what began our friendship. I loved him. He was *that* boy that I spent most of my high school career wanting to be with, but was never able to get. I cried so many times over him. We were friends, and hung out together, but he just wasn't interested in being more than frinds, which broke my heart reguarly). Me wanting him went on for what seemed like forever. I did those silly girl things like wrote his name in hearts on my binder (I was 14 when I met him), and I would take a long route to my classes that had me walking 5 mins out of my way, just walk past him. Lame, I know, but as I mentioned above...14 yr old girl stuff, right? I remember calling his house, and then hanging up when he answered. Too funny.

Flash forward, like, 8 years later, I have just had Babybear and his father has left. A pair of friends who remember how much I liked RadioBoy in high school manage to get us face to face in a pub on my 23rd birthday,and we have grand conversation about the latest U2 album, had a great time, and begin hanging out. He was totally into having a relationship at that point, but things were still to raw with Babybear and his Dad (Babybear was only 3 mos old at this point, and I still hadn't accepted that his Dad was actually going to walk away from him), I was in a bad place emotionally, and just could not handle it. This time he cried over me. Took me a very long time to get him to a point where he would speak to me again, but I did, and once again, we were friends.

Flash foward, 3 years later, September, 2004. I am away on a business trip to the States, spending a very lonely night in hotel room in Elizabeth, NJ (had presentations in NYC, PA and NJ, so Newark was the place to be!). He just happened to pop up on Messenger, and we talk for over 2 hours. It had been a very long time since I had felt that good, and all I could think to myself was: "WHY am I not with this man?!?" We have spoken almost every day since then. Finally things came together for us the end of June, when out of no where he told me he loved me very deeply, and needed me to know.

I had been aching since September to be more than his friend, but was afraid to even try because of the last time, when I hurt him. Figured he would not want to go there again. He asked me to go to a wedding with him, the bridal couple are mutual friends we share, and it was under the premise of "As Friends". Then we meet for lunch. Then we went to a show together a few days after that, and he just blurted it out. It was so sweet, very romantic, and something I had wanted to hear from him forever. And then he kissed me, and it was the best kiss I have ever had. I was worried about that, because we had known each other for so long, I feared that it may lack that spark. But it didn't. ANd it wasn't awkward at all. Remember when you first kiss someone? It takes some time to learn which way to lean your head, where to put your noses, etc. This wasn't. We just fit together. And with everything we have been through together (the above is a HIGHLY condensed "Story of Us", we have been through a lot in the 12 years we've know on another.), and the fact that we still come back to one another after 12 years...we are just meant to be. That's the only way I can think of to describe it. I love him so very deeply, and passionately, and he is truly my best friend. We ahre so much already, and it has been incredible to take it to this new level. Even the "First Time" was incredible....and normally it never is. We are so in tune with one another. We fit together perfectly, and yet maintain our independence of one another in a a way I've never experienced before. It's amazing.

I know it must sound completely cracked, but this isn't just a two month relationship...this is something we have slowly been building over 12 years. We both feel the same. We are so open and able to talk to each other about anything. ANd he is a very sensitive man. In fact, HE is the sensitive one in our relationship. I am just so....completed. It's amazing, the feeling that comes with finding your life partner, and *knowing* it.

I am now off to have sweet dreams of my love :)

Cheers!

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